The Migrant Bookclub

While Prof. Grady makes delicious dinner, I'm lazily browsing through my archives and realizing that my most favorite entries and discussions here are about the books I've read or wanted to read.

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I am currently reading Aleksandar Hemon's The Lazarus Project (for some reason, it's taking me forever to get through it but a good book is worth the effort so I don't mind).

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I am preparing my notes on Cyndi Phoel's magnificent debut Cold Snap (set in mid-90s Bulgaria!!!)

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I've been missing you guys

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How about we start an international book club?!



We would call it The Migrant Bookclub. We would put together a list of books to read (I'd say, make sure those books have something to do with a) immigration, b) expatriation, c) negotiating multiple identities and/or d)Bulgaria), and agree to read a book a month together. There are so many amazing books that fall under one of these four criteria that I definitely don't think you need to be an expat/immigrant yourself to enjoy this (American Mom and Dr. J, I'm looking at you). At the end of each month, we would have a discussion about the book: whoever has a blog, would blog about it. Whoever twitters, would twitter about it. Hell, maybe we could do a live twitter chat with the author?

Let me know what you think: yes or no (YES, of course); how to go about it; which books to read. I can't wait to hear what you think!

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Photo by Remy Saglier

What do you love about the place where you live right now?

I write so much about Bulgaria and Bulgarians on this blog but, in my gut, that's not really what the blog is ABOUT. I really think of this place as a space dedicated to expatriation, immigration and the meanings and feelings we attach to those experiences.

Yesterday I was chatting with Lucy of PocketCultures about my post on what I like about Bulgaria and we thought it would be a great idea to open up that conversation to a larger audience.

What do you love about the place where you live right now?
If you are an expat, what do you love about your adoptive country?

Here's what Lucy says about Britain:

I'll go first: This poster - keep calm and carry on - sums up one thing I really like about Britain. The dog ate your lunch? Your house just collapsed? The financial system is 30 minutes away from meltdown? Keep calm and get on with your life. The first part of 'carrying on' usually involves making a cup of tea.

Awesome, no?!

Now let us know what you think. Leave a comment here or drop me a note on Twitter. Maybe at the end of the week, Lucy and I can put together a combined list of greatness!

Bulgaria: what you love. Or not.

I keep forgetting about my FormSpring account but you guys keep sending me cool questions. Here's a response to one of them.

Q: Are there any particular aspects of Bulgarian culture, attitude and behavior that you dislike? What Bulgarian peculiarities do you like? Do you consider yourself a typical Bulgarian and in what way?

A: I dislike Bulgarian cynicism. I think that more often than not Bulgarians are unnecessarily pessimistic. I don't think that there's absolutely no ground for it but I think we push it to an extreme. I know I do and I am working on getting over it.

What I really like about Bulgarians is our complete disregard for personal space: we are nosy neighbors, tell people how to raise the children, take a lot of group trips, talk to our parents several times a week, show up uninvited, pick fruit off any tree that's within our reach. When I am in Bulgaria, I feel very connected. I love that.

I don't know if I am a typical Bulgarian. What I like about myself the most is that who I am has been influenced by two cultures that I like.

P.S. A dear friend of mine (name starts with N, has a popular Bulgarian blog wink-wink) is considering moving back to Bulgaria from NYC and I kept thinking of him while responding to this question. I am really curious to hear what y'all have to say about this, especially in the context of considering relocating back to the Motherland.

Running into old friends

I am reading Aleksandar Hemon's The Lazarus Project and, not even 50 pages in, I'm loving it. I'm going to share a paragraph to give you an idea why. (The protagonist is a Bosnian immigrant living in Chicago):

It happens to me all the time: I run into people I used to know in my previous, Sarajevo, life. We yelp in surprise; we kiss or slap each other on the back; we exchange basic information and gossip about common acquaintances; we make firm promises about getting together soon or staying in touch. Afterwards, a tide of crushing sadness always overwhelms me, for I instantly recognize that whatever had connected us has now nearly dissolved; we only make gestures, get through the ritual of recognition and pretend it was only through our negligence that we had been parted. The old film of the common past that disintegrates when exposed to the light of a new life.

"Tide of crushing sadness" is exactly IT. No need to be an expat to have experienced it.

Expat Bloggers on She Writes

I am so honored to be included in a feature that Anastasia Ashman curated for the She Writes network on Expat Writers. Anastasia introduces Catherine Yigit, Rose Deniz and myself and says:

I'm drawn to the subject matter of these writers (and many others who I hope to highlight in the future). Posts seem compelled by the daily negotiation of expat/immigrant/exile identity. Shaped by unfamiliar environments. Inspired by moments when belief systems are challenged or uprooted.

Sounds about right.

Thank you, Anastasia! It's great to be in the same group as Catherine and Rose!

Hey, there, birdie

Here's the thing. I receive a lot of email from people reading How to Marry a Bulgarian. Some of you came here upon recommendations from friends. Others discovered the blog after doing Google searches for various Bulgaria-related topics and activities. And there are those that ended up here after following little breadcrumbs on the internets that were left by people that have been here before. I love you all and have really enjoyed becoming (online) friends with so many of you. My blog friends have become a part of a fairly large support network that helps me deal with all kinds of issues: the logistics of being married to a non-Bulgarian, the nostalgia and the homesickness, the frustration of going back to Bulgaria and oftentimes feeling like I no longer belong. For that, I thank you.

Recently I realized that I withhold a lot of that information from you guys and was being quite selfish, actually, keeping all these friendships all to myself. I got to thinking that if I have gotten so much out of meeting the people who read this little blog, maybe the readers themselves would enjoy meeting other readers as well.

That's why I created the How to Marry a Bulgarian group on Facebook (264 members and counting). That's why I also started the Life in the Trenches series, which also happens to be one of my most favorite things I've done on this blog. These two little events have introduced me to more amazing people and have added spice and laughter to my life that I have come to love and treasure. Sooo... to make it even easier for y'all to connect with one another, I decided to open a How to Marry a Bulgarian account on Twitter. I've got a love-hate relationship with Twitter but it does make it very easy to get in touch with folk. So, if that's your preferred choice of communication, be sure to friend me and look through my list of contacts.

Another way of saying all of this is simply: THANK YOU.

Networking

Hey, if:

• You are a Bulgarian in a committed relationship with a non-Bulgarian
• You are a non-Bulgarian in such a relationship with a Bulgarian

or

• If you and your partner come from different cultural, national, or ethnic backgrounds

AND

• You have a blog

LET ME KNOW! so that I can add it to my Mix-breeder Blogroll here on How to Marry a Bulgarian.

Peace.

The world is an inch

Do you remember when I first discovered Jim Hanas earlier this summer and could not stop obsessing over his short stories and his website and our then-distant Memphis connection? Good. Well, here's an email I received from him earlier today:

Here's how I think it happened. Dr. J posted about my lecture- presumably because you turned her on to my blog- on July 19. The next day, Joshua Miller- a friend of Dr. J's?- posted an item on Metafilter about the Adult Ed lecture series.

That's where the Sunday editor of the [New York] Post saw it and asked me to quickly re-work it for the paper here.

As a VERY southern friend of mine used to say: "The world is an inch." Now more than ever. And thanks to whoever you know in this chain.

best,
jim

It's sort of obvious, but I am going to go ahead and say it anyway: I LOVE THE INTERNETS!

Dealing with distance

I am currently in Bremen, visiting my little sister. It's great to be with her but even though I just arrived, I am already sad that I leave in a couple of days. Ina is my best friend and a wonderful human being and I just wish our lives did not pull us in such different directions. Literally.

I feel like when we were younger the distance didn't matter so much. We just took our time together for what it was, had fun, appreciated the opportunities we had to hang out. The older I get, though, the harder it is to get used to the idea that our times together will be rare and far in between. I know I need to accept it, but I just can't.

For those of you out there who live far from the ones you love... how do you do it? I know that there is no right way to "keep in touch" and we all just sort of do what we can to feel connected... But still, I hope that our collective wisdom and experiences can help us figure out how to get over the sadness that distance creates and replace it with joy.

Do share.

In place of a book review

Last night I spent two hours talking to our landlord Sylvia. Sylvia is in her 50s and immigrated to Germany from Tetovo (Macedonia) when she was 6. Naturally, we have a lot to talk about.

There have been many untimely deaths in Sylvia's family. Her own father passed away when he was only 34. Her sister's husband died at 48 after battling Hepatitis B for over 6 years, which he got from contaminated tubes at the hospital where he was voluntarily donating blood. A couple of years later, Sylvia's only daughter (only 12-years-old) was hit in a car accident and died.

At the same time, Sylvia is the sunniest, friendliest, warmest, strongest person you would ever meet. She tends to her garden and to those around her with utmost care. She said that when her daughter died, she felt she had to be strong for her nieces. Their Dad had passed away just a couple of years before and now their younger cousin was dead. I needed to show them that life could still be good for them, that it is not all bad, she said. So she continued to work, and garden, and travel, and read, and laugh, and grow the meanest roses in all of Freiburg.

Last night, as I was giving her a hug good-night, all I wanted to say to her was "Read Oscar Wao! Read Oscar Wao!".

Call for submissions: Harvest Baskets

My friend Jo Carubia is a writer, editor and educator who has many years of experience in publishing and academia. Jo is working on an edited volume of stories about women and is soliciting submissions. The more of us contribute, the better!!!

INVITATION

Gathering Stories from Heart to Heart
Legends, Tales, and Truth about Women in Families
Near and Far

Harvest Baskets

HARVEST BASKETS is a gathering of stories about the women in your family, and every family. This book will include short reflections, humorous stories, poetry, copies of letters written generations ago, photographs, and narratives of growing up with the influence of magnificent women. It will also include some memories that are puzzles still unsolved, or even dark recollections that cast shadows through the years.

Both men and women are invited to submit brief stories that sketch a moment, an event, a character from your family’s life. Suggested length is 250 to 500 words, but please inquire if your story is shorter or longer.

Stories about . . . .

• Grandmothers
• Mothers
• Sisters
• Aunts
• Daughters
• Cousins
• and more . . .

SUBMIT YOUR STORIES
jo.carubia [at] gmail [dot] com OR mgp0506 [at] gmail [dot] com
See also Metaphorical Ink for more information and sample stories.

Please be sure to tell Jo I sent you over! Also, if you are interested, I could email you a nice poster you could put up in your office/department, etc.

MY flashlight is a blogger

Maud Newton is one of my Top 5 favorite online writers of all time. I started following her blog many years ago and her writing still gets me absolutely giddy about books and all things literary! When I heard that she would be coming to Penn State to be on a panel about blogging and the arts, I knew that I had to go see her.

Today not only did I attend the panel but I got to meet Maud in person and had a little conversation with her and she gave me a hug. I was so happy Kyle was with me so I could squeeze his hand all through the duration of the panel.

I felt like I was 7-years-old and just got a flashlight.

International Recipe Exchange

Like my Gender Communication professor liked to say, one should never underestimate the power of women talking.

A couple of months ago, I got a note from Yolina... a fellow Bulgarian and a mix-breeder, currently living and spreading general Bulgarian awesomeness in Switzerland. Yo doesn't have a blog so I follow her whereabouts on Facebook where we have tackled such important issues as wedding dress preservation, renting apartments in Italy and, most recently, food. Today I cooked dinner, based on one of her recipes and thought it only made sense to share that with you guys.

It is an original Bulgarian recipe, which Yo has tweaked a little bit to reflect the tastes she's acquired while living with non-Bulgarian roommates in Germany. My version of the dish defers mostly in its presentational style. I am also sharing the salad I made to go with the main dish. Kyle says they were both good.

Bulgarian-ish Green Beans

Ingredients (for 2 servings + some leftovers)
1 onion
3-4 garlic cloves
2 carrots
1 green pepper
1 can of green beans
1 can of diced tomatos
Olive oil, 2 tbl spoons of soy sauce, salt, black pepper, cumin, chilly powder, hot paprika

Sautee the onions and the garlic.
Add carrots and green pepper. Stir in with sauteed garlic and onions for about 5 minutes.
Add diced tomatos and green beans. Stir.
Add 2 table spoons of soy sauce, some salt black pepper, cumin, chilly powder, hot paprika.

Be careful with the spices, they carry a lot of flavor so make sure they do not overwhelm the dish. When you are done mixing everything in, just let it simmer on the stove while the carrots are soft. I then served this over brown rice and it was yuuummmmmy.

Spinach, beet and Gorgonzola salad with ginger dressing
Spinach
Marinated beets (from a jar)
Crumbled Gorgonzola (my favorite cheese)
Dressing: olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt, pepper, 1/2 table spoon of minced ginger; stir energetically.

I am posting recipes here not because I am an especially good cook. To the contrary. Not until too long ago I could barely boil rice. I am sharing this with you because to a lot of us, who live away from home, food is a lot more than just what we put in our mouth. Food is memory. It is a reminder. It is a way to stay connected to our roots. It is a way to solidify friendships. If you like my food, you can't be that bad, right?... I get especially hungry for Bulgarian food during the holidays.

Please let me know if you are interested in sharing recipes on a regular basis. I only have one condition: they have to be vegetarian. And to the Bulgarians out there, that means NO CHICKEN!!! Even if it is cut up in small pieces.

An open call for mix-breeders

So, with some trepidation, I am announcing my second annual involvement in National Blog Posting Month. I will try to post once every day in the month to come.

My hope for this year is to find a bunch of other mix-breeders like Kyle and myself. I.e. I am hoping to meet other people who are romantically involved with partners who do not share their nationality. Something tells me there are plenty of laughs out there to be shared.

If you know a mix-breeder or you happen to be one yourself, please say hi!!!

I am cross-posting all entries at NaBloPoMo.